The Word is Flex

Flextime. Flexible scheduling. Job flexibility. You know the buzzwords. What they all have in common is the capacity for a little bit of give, a creative use of your time, an arrangement that prevents your job from Total Domination over your day and night. 

But I'm interested in another meaning of the word flex. I'm talking about flexing a muscle.  The dictionary calls it "to move by muscular control."  That's what you need to be doing if you want to do that tricky balancing acts between work and the rest of your life. Taking more control.

Doing a good job at the office -- being a high achiever, or a good girl, or whatever you call the strategy that has helped you get this far -- isn't going to build you the life you want. Following someone else's timetable or promotion schedule won't get you where you want to go. You need to make some tough decisions for yourself:  this will work for me, this won't, this works for now but then I'll need to shift to that.

Instead of trying to cope in a system that was not designed for you, one which leaves you flailing and worn out and sadly thinking there's something wrong with you, you need to get clear on the life you want to build -- and then do the heavy lifting.